At first, offers of help come fast and furious - much more offers of help than actual help. Then, when a particular need is inconvenient, the offer is retracted. A few steadfast friends try to do what they can, but when it comes to it, family are the ones who stick to the job, even family who have never been friends with Terry or of each other. What is it about family that makes it feel inconceivable to say "I'm too tired" or "I have my own needs" or "I can't do it" ?

Is it just me, my grandmother Una's voice in my ears saying "Can't? I don't know the meaning of that word! Give it a try; you can do anything if you try hard enough." Am I still trying to live up to her expectations? Terry hated the way Una pushed us to do more than was easy, more than was comfortable. I loved the challenge and craved the approval of those bright blue eyes looking at me, loving me wholly, faults and all.

And so my own family is in upheaval as we all prepare for separate summers in this most important of summers. A summer full of changes for everyone. We schedule as much as we can, but cancer does not follow any schedule and we all try to remember to breathe and keep flexible.

And now I look for a place to stay overnight in Seattle...